Writing this is a little bit like pulling my finger nails out, as i've been avoiding as much as possible this blog. The things i've been pondering are no longer fit, really, for me to share with everyone. And on top of that, I find myself embarrassed for my previous public cogitations. I'm retreating back, but not necessarily in a negative aspect. In order to know myself, I need to be able to be myself. And knowing there are some eyes reading this, well..makes me alter what i say in almost a superficial, sensationalized way. And i don't like it. And i don't like me when i do it.
SO
with that, i shall part from this blog to begin figuring out on my own, once again, who i am in this mighty world. But i'll leave a couple gifts behind, both quotes from the book I just finished reading. Villa Incognito by Tom Robbins provided for me these little slices of thought. Tasty.
"" 'How then does soul differ from spirit?' you're probably asking yourself,' although he must have been reasonable sure nobody was. "Well, soul is darker of color, denser of volume, saltier of flavor, rougher of texture, and tends to be more maternalistic than paternalistic: soul is connected to Mother Earth just as spirit is connected to Father Sky. Of course, mothers and fathers are prone to copulation, and in their commingled state, soul and spirit often can be difficult to distinguish the one from the other. Generally, if spirit is the fresh air vent and ambient lighting in the house of consciousness, if spirit is the electrical system that illuminates that house, then soul is the smoky fireplace, the fragrant oven, the dusty wine cellar, the strange creaks we hear in the floorboards late at night.
"It's a bit of a cliche to say it, but when you think of soul, you should think of things that are authentic and things that are deep. Anything superficial is not soulful. Anything artificial, imitative, or overly refined is not soulful. Wood has a stronger connection to soul than does plastic, although, paradoxically, thanks to human interface, a funky wooden table or chair can sometimes exceed in soulfulness the soul that may be invoked by a living tree." ...
"In the end, perhaps we should simply imagine a joke; a long joke that's being continually retold in an accent too thick and too strange to ever be completely understood. Life is that joke, my friends. The soul is its punch line."
and this tidbit on the paradox of our, specifically our, lives:
"Your country seems to have everything and yet has almost nothing. It's unbelievable. In that vast, beautiful, powerful land of unprecedented abundance live some of the most unhappy people on earth. Oh, generally speaking, they complement all that affluence by being generous and energetic and, except for their ruling class---which is wormy with evil like ruling classes everywhere---rather decent. But they're chronically depressed and dissatisfied. Chronically. Have you heard of Prozac?" ...
"In our Declaration of Independence," he said, "we consecrate ourselves as a nation to the pursuit of happiness. That in itself is an admission of habitual discontent. One needn't pursue what one already possesses."
I could speak volumes of tomes on these quotes. On happiness. On soul searching. Why?
These are elements I actively seek to know and understand myself. I'll figure it out, don't fret on my behalf, but I prefer to do it on my own. Or in person. Or in hiding. Or.. wherever/however it must be done.
With that, Au revoir, mon chaus. And thank you for your attentiveness.
